Learning

A high school teacher was getting fed up with the students’ attitude toward tests so he laid down the law.
“There will be a test tomorrow; I will accept no absences and there will be no make-up test. The only reasons you can miss this test are if there is a death in your immediate family or there is a nuclear attack, period.”
Tommy, on the back row, raised his hand and was recognized by the teacher.
He asked, “What if I am sexually exhausted?” and the teacher replied,
“You’ll just have to learn to write with your other hand!”

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November 26, 2005 Posted in: Humor 1 Comment » | show comment » | « hide comment

WTF is going on with this!

LaFave

TAMPA, Fla. – A female teacher pleaded guilty Tuesday to having sex with a 14-year-old student, avoiding prison as part of a plea agreement.
Debra Lafave, 25, whose sensational case made tabloid headlines, will serve three years of house arrest and seven years’ probation. She pleaded guilty to two counts of lewd and lascivious battery.

If the genders were reversed do you think a 25 yr old man would get the same deal?. Why is it that society seems to view a woman who does this so much different than a a man. I guess it is ok for a teen age boy to have sex with a married woman who is in a position of authority but it his sister becomes a “victim”.
If she was a man, they would want to cut his balls off and hang him upside down as a notice to all men not to even think about it.

Source: Fla. Teacher Pleads Guilty in Sex Case

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November 22, 2005 Posted in: Ridiculous 3 Comments » | show comments » | « hide comments

Snakes

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on his rear end. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance

The attendants rushed in, wouldn’t listen to his protests and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That’s when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, he tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor’s wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband’s mouth on the woman’s mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by the snake.

She went to the kitchen and got a small ! bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man’s throat. By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred.

They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Just then the little snake crawled out from under the sofa. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, the burning drapes were seen by the neighbors and they called the fire department, and the arriving fire truck had started raising its ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area but they did get the house fire out.

Time passed.

Both men were discharged from the
hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

That’s when she shot him.

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November 21, 2005 Posted in: Humor Comments Off

Panic attack!!!!

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November 15, 2005 Posted in: Humor Comments Off

Whole lot of nothing important

I don’t pay much attention to on line personality tests or others that use data that is unproven and lumps you into one of a few categories based on multiple choices.
I thought this one was different as it has most of the answers based on fact and not fiction.
From the link at the bottom enter your bithdate and away you go with a bunch of facts that won’t change your life or bring fame and fortune……

You entered: 3/16/1938

Your date of conception was on or about 23 June 1937.

You were born on a Wednesday under the astrological sign Pisces.
Your Life path number is 4.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2428973.5.
The golden number for 1938 is 1.
The epact number for 1938 is -1.
The year 1938 was not a leap year.

As of 10/30/2005 9:32:10 PM CST
You are 67 years old.
You are 811 months old.
You are 3,529 weeks old.
You are 24,700 days old.
You are 592,821 hours old.
You are 35,569,292 minutes old.
You are 2,134,157,530 seconds old.
You are 9.66731898238748 dog years old. (You old hound dog, you!)

There are 137 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 68 candles

Those 68 candles produce 68 BTUs, or 17,136 calories of heat (that’s only 17.1360 food Calories!) .
You can boil 7.77 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1938 the US population was approximately 122,775,046 people, 41.2 persons per square mile.
In 1938 in the US there were approximately 1,126,856 marriages (9.2%) and 195,961 divorces (1.6%)
In 1938 in the US there were approximately 1,327,000 deaths (11.3 per 1000)

Your birthstone is Aquamarine
The Mystical properties of Aquamarine

Aquamarine is often used to experience love and mercy. It is said to help ease depression and grief.

Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Jade, Rock Crystal, Bloodstone

Your birth tree is:

Lime Tree, the Doubt

Accepts what life dishes out in a composed way, hates fighting, stress and labour, tends to laziness and idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very jealous, loyal.

There are 56 days till Christmas 2005!

The moon’s phase on the day you were born was full.